As the competition grows fierce, Taj finds himself falling in love with the beautiful Charlotte (Lauren Cohan), who happens to be the girlfriend of their nastiest opponent, Pipp Everett (Daniel Percival).įlavorlessly directed by Mort Nathan (2003's " Boat Trip") and seemingly penned on a napkin by David Drew Gallagher, "National Lampoon's Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj" has direct-to-DVD written all over it. In doing so, Taj and his students, including nerdy whiz Gethin (Anthony Cozens), silent Percy (Tom Davey), and blunt-mouthed Sadie (Holly Davidson), decide to compete in the college's Hastings Cup Tournament against the rich, snooty "Fox and Hounds" fraternity. Having learned the tricks of the sexual trade from buddy Van, Taj travels to prestigious, London-based Camford University and sets out to teach confidence to the members of a misfit co-ed frat house. With Van Wilder missing in action, the reigns are woefully handed over to Taj Mahal Badalandabad (Kal Penn), a supporting character in the predecessor who didn't need his own movie. With the stench of resigned mediocrity coursing through its every miserable minute, the picture quickly becomes patently offensive for all the wrong reasons.
#NATIONAL LAMPOON VAN WILDER 2 TITS MOVIE#
With an expiration date several years passed, this hopeless cash-in features a barely-there plot, stock stick figures posing as human beings, and diluted, would-be gross-out gags so innocuous the movie might as well have shot for a PG-13 rating. Even so, it had more going for it than "National Lampoon's Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj," a pale imitation that no one asked for. It was a mild sleeper success at the box office, but came off as a mostly uninspired copycat of virtually hundreds of other youth-oriented raunchfests released before it. The 2002 original, titled, of course, " National Lampoon's Van Wilder," starred the usually charismatic Ryan Reynolds as a seven-year college slacker and big-time player and Tara Reid as the journalism student he falls for. All the boys want to be him.Van Wilder is nowhere to be found and only passingly mentioned in the rancorously unnecessary "National Lampoon's Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj," but the loss of the title character turns out to be the least of this shameful sequel's problems. No party gets started until it gets wilder.If you're going for an advanced degree in partying.Why graduate?.Jeannie: This party so rocks, Richard! Richard: This party sucks rectum, Jeannie! Assistant: With a Happy Ending? Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ah Yes. Vance Wilder, Sr.: And, schedule in a massage. Vance Wilder, Sr.: Van is still in school? Assistant: For the better part of a decade. Naomi: Baby, I'm about to culminate, now get over here. Taj: This is the culmination of my being. Anyone ever tell you that? Gwen: Yes, my boyfriend. Kid's got killer eyes not unlike yourself. McDoogle: Apathy is the glove in which evil slips its hand.ĭialogue Van: Blue. And he's performing a circumcision.on himself though. Jeannie: It was the greatest ten seconds.Vance Wilder, Sr: Sweet Joseph, my son's a fairy.Richard: You do not call her that, Gonad!.You know, air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby, you know? And get it waxed. To-to-to smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving.
Most Indians would say cow because they are sacred, but, I hear milk I think giant jugs. Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you, even if you know it's someplace you know you're not supposed to be.I learned a long time ago you can't treat every situation like it's life and death.Those circus midgets can NOT hold their booze!.Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.Well, it is the NAKED mile run everyone else will be in their birthday suits.Two girls utterly infatuated with men who have larger than normal. I'd like you to meet Sherri and Terri.Richard, you rascal, you never told me you were a DIK! Not that you had to.All this time I thought I was more to you than some flaccid story.Sharing a half-calf latte and a penalty box with Gwen Pearson who believes that censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.Are you stalking me? 'Cause that would be super.Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.
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